Tag: anxiety and depression

Is your other half suffering from Depression?

Does your partner suffer from Depression?


Mental Health issues will strike approximately 1 in 4 people in Britain every year according to the mental health foundation. Depression and anxiety Depressionbeing the most common ailments.

There is plenty of help available for those suffering with depression or anxiety ranging from medication through to talking therapies such as hypnotherapy or psychology.

However, there isn’t that much help for those that live with people who suffer with mental health problems.

In this blog we will focus on depression, it can tear families apart, cause children to suffer low self-esteem, it can even cause other family members to become depressed too and in the worst cases result in suicide. So let’s not take this too lightly….

So how can you tell if someone does suffer from depression or anxiety and also what can you do?


People with depression quite often don’t even realise they are suffering from it until they come out the other side and can look back objectively. There are tell-tale signs though. Things to look out for in others might be:

  • Binge eatingcompulsive eating
  • Excessive drinking (alcohol)
  • Continuing black moods / negativity
  • Aggressive behaviour either physically or verbally
  • Constant complaining
  • Becoming withdrawn
  • Lack of sex drive
  • Decrease of physical touch with loved ones
  • A sense of helplessness
  • A sense of hopelessness

Things you can do to help:

  • Realise that IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!! As a partner you may be getting the brunt of the blame and or anger. People tend to hurt the ones they shutterstock_51898390love more than anything else.
  • If there are children in the situation then let them realise that it’s not their fault either.
  • Suggest a trip to the GP, for some this may be tricky so sometimes it may be necessary to let your partner realise for themselves that something is wrong. Ways of doing this could be talking about a ‘friend’ who suffers with depression and explaining the symptoms to them.
  • Encourage positive talk, ask your partner all the good things that happened to them
  • Teach mindfulness or self hypnosis
  • Encourage physical exercise, releasing endorphins is a great way to reduce depression
  • Eat healthily, there is so much evidence to show that a poor diet results in poor mental health it can’t be ignored.
  • Take time out, for many people taking a holiday is a regular habit but what about just going out for a walk in the countryside? Getting away from it all can really help with mild depression.
  • Talk to others support groups are becoming more popular for those whose loved ones suffer with depression.
  • Boost your partners ego, let them know what they’re good at. This can be done in conversation rather than by bullet points, for example during a conversation about the drive to work you could easily put in something along the lines of – “well you know you’re a good driver”
  • Create a pact to have a positive morning every morning, i.e. during the morning each family member has to mention ‘X’ amount of positive things. This is especially important when children are involved. Children and stress is another blog for another day but evidence shows that a calm positive pre-school routine has a very positive long term effect on a child’s mental health as opposed to a stressed pre-school routine.

If you do have any problems and are worried that  your partner may be suffering from the effects of depression please just fill out the form below and we will see what we can do to help.

Contact Chris Fleet

  • Section




Sat Nav for the Soul


Have you ever heard people say any of the following?

“I’m a really positive person but nothing ever works for me.”
“I always get in the wrong queue at supermarkets.”
“My life is rubbish (or words to that effect)”
“Why does this always happen to me?”

Some people talk about The Law of Attraction ie the more you believe something is going to happen the more you attract that from the ‘Universe’.

I’m a very pragmatic person and don’t necessarily buy into this whole stuff about our thoughts making cosmic powers attract positive or negative things towards us BUT……. That doesn’t mean the Law of Attraction doesn’t exist – far from it.

Have you ever been in a position where you are thinking about buying a new car or a new jacket for example? Perhaps you have already been to see similar either in person or online. If this is the case then the chances are you will suddenly begin to notice similar cars or jackets all over the place?
Does this mean that the world is suddenly full of new cars and jackets? No of course not but it does mean that you are much more aware of them.

Let’s take a look at some of the above statements:

“I’m a really positive person but nothing ever works for me.” I would quite happily reckon that this person posts up lots of positive quotes on facebook like live life to the full and the like but spends most of their time looking for things to go wrong. And therefore notices the things that go wrong – that way their “I’m really positive but…” statement becomes true – to them. The reality is that actually lots of good things might be happening but they’re too busy looking out for the bad that they don’t notice the good, or take the good for granted so therefore don’t acknowledge it or be grateful for it.

“I always get in the wrong queue at supermarkets.” – Really? How true is that statement then? Is that a fact or do you just ignore the times when you get to the quickest queue in the supermarket.

“My life is rubbish” Hmmmm, I bet that when this person is challenged about that statement they realise that it isn’t always that rubbish, it’s just that they focus on the negatives and ignore the positives.

“Why does this always happen to me?” It probably doesn’t, not 100% of the time….

So what can we do about it?

It’s easy really we begin to focus on what we do want. I can explain in greater detail during one of our one day seminars but effectively begin to list the things you DO want and when they arrive be grateful. It doesn’t need to be earth shatteringly amazing, it could be something like getting in the quickest queue at the supermarket. If it doesn’t happen then perhaps mentally shrug and wait for the next time. But when it does happen make a mental note of it, be grateful. You don’t have to send your gratitude out to the universe unless you really want to. Just be grateful and guess what … the more grateful you are the more you’ll notice the good things and shrug off the bad. Unless of course you have a mantra of “I’m always grateful but ……” in which case you’re still noticing the ‘but’ more than anything else ……

Contact Chris Fleet

  • Section




Can hypnosis be a Tinnitus treatment

What do you know about tinnitus treatment?

The medical profession generally understand that hypnotherapy is believed to be a tinnitus treatment but more research is needed.

I currently have four clients on my books suffering with tinnitus and all have responded differently. Yesterday though was the most dramatic….

The person in question has had tinnitus for over 20 years and was told by the hospital 10 or more years ago that he would just have to ‘live with it’ at which point he gave up hope of ever being able to control it.treatment for tinnitus

His wife bought him three sessions with me for Christmas and to say that he turned up a bit sceptical is probably the understatement of the year. The first session went ok but not great although the client maybe had a misconstrued idea of what hypnosis was – due in part to seeing some stage stuff.

The second session was a bit better but still no change and then yesterday he came in saying that the last week had been worse than ever describing it as a full on shriek that kept him awake til 1.30am.

Actually rather than be dismayed that was music to my ears (excuse the pun) as it meant things were shifting. An hour after coming in saying that it was worse than ever the client left saying that for the first time in over 20 years it had completely gone from one ear and greatly reduced in the other. We sat and talked a bit and 20 minutes later it was still the same. The look of shock and bemusement on this guy’s face was quite a sight but the look of wonder was more than money could ever buy.

How did he manage to use hypnosis as a tinnitus treatment?

Most of the real work was done in the two previous sessions (there’s a reason I ask people to book in for three) and during the pre-talk of yesterday’s session where certain suggestions were subliminally put to him. Once in hypnosis those suggestions were reinforced and a few visualisation techniques used, he seemed to struggle with these but it’s so important to remember the horse and rider analogy that we don’t need to worry about his conscious mind and above all believe in yourself and your abilities.

If you want to know more either as a client or learn how to help others then check out the rest of my website, it’s packed full of information.

Contact Chris Fleet

  • Section



Top tips to enjoy silence

Silence is golden – or is it?

When was the last time you sat in silence for more than 20 minutes?hypnotherapy

Our commute to work, the school run, doing the housework, watching a film, listening to the radio these are all noise filled activities.

Sometimes we demand that external stimuli just to quieten down our internal self talk. Some people become workaholics because they don’t want to face up to certain aspects of their lives, some people delude themselves that everything is absolutely fine when in fact their life is falling down around themselves so they keep busy to avoid the silence, because in the silence our thoughts begin to turn over ……..

However there are ways to enjoy and revel in silence – simply by becoming aware.

Try these tips to enjoy your own company more

  • hypnotherapy trainingFocus on your surroundings – with every out-breath say to yourself (silently) “right now I’m aware of” and then complete the sentence to yourself.
  • Begin to notice your breath – when was the last time you really paid attention to your breathing? Begin to notice the difference in air temperature when you breathe in through your nose compared to when you breathe out. See if you can feel the air entering and leaving your body, can you notice the rise and fall of your stomach or the rise and fall of your chest?
  • Smile to yourself – imagine somebody just told you something wonderful, perhaps someone saying they loved you or that you had done something exceptionally well.
  • Spread that smile throughout your body – I know, I know …. It sounds odd, but you know how some people have really smiley eyes? Well with your eyes closed just imagine that the thing that made you smile in the 1st place had made your eyes twinkle with pleasure – even though your eyes are closed. Once you’ve mastered that then you can learn to smile into yourself. You can then go on to smile into your work, your relationships any aspect of your life that you choose.
  • Notice how your body feels – when we get stressed or worried our body tends to hunch forward causing tension in our muscles, all too often we don’t even notice this tension until it’s too late. By becoming aware of how our bodies are feeling we can alleviate this tension before it gets too bad.
  • Visualise – How do you want to be? How do you want others to see you? By imagining yourself how you want to be and how you want others to see you you’re giving your subconscious mind a road map.

Has Mick Jagger had his Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown?

Mick Jagger looking Stressed

Did you know that Mick Jagger was diagnosed with acute traumatic stress disorder after the death of his girlfriend L’Wren Scott’?

The 71 year old singer postponed their tour of Australia and New Zealand after his girlfriend of 13 years hung herself.

Acute traumatic stress disorder can lead to symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, feelings of guilt and emotional numbness.

If they persist for more than a month it becomes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the condition usually associated with soldiers returning home from battle.

Stress can affect different people in different ways and all too often we don’t realise we have it until it is too late. Have you found yourself getting unnecessarily angry, do you ever feel dizzy; do you have trouble sleeping;

Our ‘Learn How Your Mind Works’ day can help you with many of these symptoms.

Have you checked your diet recently?

Have you looked at your work-life balance recently?

How do you talk to yourself?

Are you kind to yourself?

Do you take regular breaks?

Do you drink too much?

Do you smoke?

Are you overweight?

All these things can contribute to a stressful lifestyle and we can help you help yourself to break this cycle.

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)


Your Message




Are You Positively Positive About Facebook?

Facebook and Twitter are you positive or negative?


Have you ever noticed how some people on social media are posting posts that are incredibly positive? Some people post articles that are funny, many post pictures of their favourite things like family members, cats & dogs etc.

However there are some people who also seem unhappy with everything, it seems as though they just like to just moan and moan, and moan. “This isn’t right, that isn’t right, this is wrong, that is wrong.”passive aggressive

So why do people like to moan and criticise so much? Does it make them feel important, or maybe a bit smug and clever? If that’s the case then perhaps they need a bit of help with their self-esteem issues because putting others down to make themselves feel better really isn’t healthy.

Then again perhaps these people are depressed and may not realise it? Perhaps they’re angry and like to have a pop at the world. Whatever it is people that permanently have a dig at others really can’t be that happy in their personal lives can they?

Then again what about all the ultra-positive types that are permanently posting on about how wonderful their life is, we have a friend nicknamed “Happy Larry” because his tweets and Facebook postings are so incredibly optimistic and positive that it just seems unreal and impossible to us mere mortals, even those of us in the wellness industry – those that know him know that he really is a miserable wotsit at times.positive

So what are these people? Are they really genuinely positive or are they actually quite sad and in denial of the reality of their life? After all why would you want the world to know that you’re just a sad angry person fixated with the PC and other people’s lives?

My wife and I witnessed an extraordinary conversation between a married couple recently. Apparently she had locked him out of the bedroom and so an argument ensued over Facebook for all the world to see, the language was rude and offensive enough as it was so Lord only knows what their little girl made of it all. Let’s just hope she slept through it all….keyboard warrior

The truth is that you can try to make social media portray whatever to you want it to – but what does it really say about you and how do others really see it? Above all – what are your posts about and how do you portray yourself to the world?

If you would like to know more about this or anything else regarding the emotions please get in touch….

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)


Your Message



Train to be a hypnotist

Common thinking errors

Common thinking errors :

We all have them – here are just a few

  When we suffer with Anxiety, worry, depression and many other complaints we generally suffer from some of the more  Common Thinking Errors. The trick is to see what to do with these thinking errors once we have identified them for this you need to use a technique known as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT when combined with hypnosis this becomes Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy and can be very very powerful.

Here are a few of the most common thinking errors.Self Hypnosis

All or nothing thinking Also known as black and white thinking the judgment does not allow for shades of grey somebody with all or nothing thinking will believe for example, if I’m not a great success then I must be a failure.

Jumping to conclusions

Mind reading Somebody who is nervous may believe their audience is hyper-critical – this is an unfounded assumption.  The client may speculate about what other people are thinking without any evidence.

Fortune Telling Another form of unfounded assumption, when somebody talks and thinks as though something is bound to happen, despite a lack of evidence.  This can lead to a self fulfilling prophecy.

Labeling “I am a complete idiot” or “I am useless” are classic forms of self labeling.  It is also possible to characterise or stigmatise others such as “Anyone who like Coronation Street must be a dull person”

Magnification When somebody exaggerate the importance of something ie making a mountain out of a molehill.

Minimization The trivialization of important things

Over-generalisation All men are aggressive is a classic example – tarring with the same brush is another example.

Discounting the positive The positive fact is acknowledged but trivialized and the importance thus dismissed.

Mental Filter : Selective Abstraction Selective thinking is another term, we deliberately ignore certain facts and focus on others – usually the worst possible set of circumstances.

Should and Must Someone may claim that they must pass their exams – there is no evidence to say that they must, A should statement can be changed to a can statement

Emotional Reasoning We allow our heart to rule our head in a negative way – if in an unhealthy frame of mind our emotions are often distorted  

Catastrophising Pre-occupation with the idea of things in the future going disastrously wrong

Personalisation Falsely assuming responsibility or excessive absolute responsibility

Blame Falsely attributing responsibility to others for something

Comparisons “I can do it, so why can’t they?” Or “They can do it so why can’t I?”

Awfulization “Wouldn’t it be awful if ………….” This leads to negative thinking and sufferers quickly find themselves discounting the positive or Catastrophising

What if? Similar to Awfulization the “What if” mind set focuses on the negatives “What if it all goes horribly wrong?” for example, this is similar to Discounting the Positive but with future projection.


If you were to find anyone claiming not to suffer with at least one of the thinking errors listed please get their signature as they may well be a saint.
The simple truth is that we all suffer from one or more of these thinking errors from time to time. It’s when they become a belief that we struggle.

If you are interested in learning more or would like a free consultation please contact us using the form below.

Contact Chris Fleet

  • Section